Whby do you put gel in your hair/.? It looks so bad.

Fron. lisa

Hi I’m writing to yubevause I saw you ont he Sopranos the other day and I’m glad yiu;re doing well. Lately I have ben going really nuts for Multi Grain cheerois I know you’re more of a Honey Nut kind opf guy but maybe in a bind the multi-grain could do for you. GThe thing about the multi grain is it’s less sugar and more grains and truth be told I am concerned about your sugar/carbohydrate intake. PleSE PLEse understan that most of yiur sugar should come from fruitsd and vegetables. Alsom things like white bread and refined grains don’ do mnuch for you nutritionally but Multi-Grain cheros has FIVERdiffernt kinds of grains and it’s good to get a variety, woulnd’t you agre. It’s also a fun time to make nutrition a proirity  becase  .

Don’t you want to cone tol a concert with me. I am such a biug fan of you that I am willing to buy your ticket, maybe I will resent it onl time will tell. I will have to buy the ticker on EBAR or CVRAIGSLIST though so please let me know as soon as you can so I can make the necessary arrangement. s The name of the Concer is oDD fUTURE wOF gANG KILL tHEM ll. It’s a few young men with aspirations as big as a mountain. I will buy you a 22oz beer before the concert and you will drink it inside and after we will stand in theback and slisten to all the music and if i get overheated i will have a glass of water. If you want I can take the blow up matress down from above the bathroom adn you can sleep over. I will make pancaskes in the morning and then we will watch Justin Beiber music videos and you can meet my cat even thogh he’s kind of skittish (<3).; I like you Ichael K wilan pleas ehave a nice dar iloveyou

LoveLisa

Hi how are you doing Look I have sone bad news. I know you just got my letter about my car bnot too long ago but listen I already found someone to buy it. It’s not that I don’tlove you becuase I do it’s just that you hemmed and hawwed and it’s a wonderful car. If you are still interetsed in getting to know me as a person however I would be honored.

Ellen here is a problem i have. I’m going to see a band play but now on the same night Neil Young is comig and I don’t know what to do. I was thinking maybe if you want to buy my tickets to see Parts and Labor on April 30th then I can go see Neil Young and I would be happy. I don’t want to hurt Parts and Labor’s feelingb s but Neil Young is more improtant to me as a person. I figure you are prbably good friens with him so it’s not like you’re missing out ifg yuo don’t see him that night. Maybe after we can all have dinner at my house, what is your thoughts on macaraini and chese.

I hope you have been doing well since the last tine we were in touch. Please no hard feelings about my craw.

I loveyuo Ellen love Lisa

Wherb I was in 6th grad I stole Beth Tate’s white-out pen and usedf it to draw pictures on bkack construction paper. In 8th grade I menmorized the answers to a science trest and froged my mom’s signature on a field trip form ebcause I forgt to give iut to her in tine. Sonetimes instead of going to the bathroom I would buy a candy bar fron the vending machin instead. I might have taken acookei or two wtihout paying. I didn’t always sign in at the olibrary. I alnost never signed out. Some of my absences had to do with a particularlyintersing episode of Maury rather than an illness. I rode other kids’ buses withiut permission. I dind’t pay attention in Spaish class. One tine Lane O’Connor said somethung about mymother and I punched him in the nose. Another tine his brother Andrew said he gto to second base with my cousin and I ripepd out a handful of his hair. I triedc to start a rumor that Colt Anders was the ilegitimate child of James Cameron but it doidn’t take. I sonehow got extra credit for Photography when I correcty changed a tire in a auto workshop class I wasn;t even enroled in. I’m pretty sutre I made up most of the stuff in my 3rd grade report on anklyosauruses but yiu have to udnerstand: that was before the internet.

so there we afre. Aside fron those isolated inducents you have no reasb not to be proud of me. Pleare as a reward wiill yiu send me a ticjet to see a band called Tane Impala at the Unitarian Curch in Philard on April 27th? It’s not expenive but my funds arevery low wiht it being tax season andall. Every day I ask myself how can I to make Mr. Willians respec me. I’m nominkus but I do my best. I think he is a sportscaster now.

I love you,
L:OIsa

Helloooo Stephen. I went toi college in a place called Hempstead it’s very much likje your native Hampstead what with the diverse cuilture and socioeconomic extrems, In fact, peole talked funny in Hempstead too. So we have a lot in common, I would likje for us to be friens. Speaking of best friends how is Hugh doing is he still with his wife, if they are having troublke please send him my way as I am known for being very empathetic. I am perhaips best known however for holding hands as it is sonething that comes very naturally to me. Q: What do you thinkj this is D^: A: It’s Cory Mtthews finding out some bad news.

Here is sone good news! A band is playing and yiu might want to buy me tickers it’s Very Importnat that I see them becuase I didn;t see them last time as I was not impressed. Well now I;n impressed and I want to hear them play please send the ticjets to my address it’s for Philadar on April 27th at Untary Chirch called Tane Imopala. Sonebody spilled beer on my bedspred.

Loive your fien,
Lisa

Hello frien;/. I hope yiu are having anice week. What is your favoritye type of cookie, I personally cannot chose jus one but I love peanut butter cookies, sugar cookies, and of course the classic chooclate chip. Cookies might be my favorite foods on some days but other days I prefer to eat types of meat like bacons, sopressata, hamburgers and buffalo wongs. What is yiur favorte food? I think listing our favorites of thigns is agood way to get toknow each other/ Maybe one day you will braid my hair and then I can braid yours

Here isanother favorite: I like to go see music, there is aband playing soon in April please cone with me your treat. the yare called Tame Impala, yiung kids that chose music over the streets. I think it’sinportant that you and I support them in their edeavrs, yiu know how it can be to be ttempted by a lifestyle. Goodbye Julian Caraplacs see you soon thank yu. I’m very thirsty.

Fron lsia.

yourinterest in Ducks is very exciting to me. Did you know there is a hotel that has a special set of real alive ducks that swim in their fountain and live on the roof at night/? They live in Memphis it’s a pretty nice life for a duck I think except maybe (hopefuly not) the water is chlorinated. Given your resorces perhaps you should look itno this.

Another thing that I am concerned about is the whereabouts of a recentyly turned 17 years old boy named Earl Sweatshirt. He was last seenprobably in Los Angeles and supposedly his mom is pretty mad I don’t know but you know how bitches can be. Please if you can get a search party going it would be important to me as I am not alione in wishing for Earl’s safe return home. Thank you fo your tiome James. I hope you are having a pleASANT EEVENING

BYE,Lisa

My company is havung a Biggest Lioser contest I joined becuase they promised goody bags adn the winning tean gets a free happy hour. Here is my thing: Iused to borrw your workout DVDs from my friend ansd whenever I got tired you would look Right At Me and say “don’t give up!” and ” you csan do this!” and “maybe yu should get a glass of water” and I felt so much like you wre watchingme that I had to turn it off. I haven’t worked out since,.

A fnthing I do is when I make chocoate chip pancakes I put cut up bananas in there to makje it healthier, it’s a fun way to get somepotassium and also they taste good. inside the ancakes. I guerss I’mw riting tog et some more advice because everyone in my biggest loser team si all mad they’re like “oh greart Lisa’s on our team” “she has a side of bacon wth lunch ever day” “the most execise she gest is when she drops a cookie on the floir” etc. So how do I make exercise afun time becuase I refuse to doanthing that is not fun.

The only time I hever saw your show there was a guy that was crying an he likened his ex-fiance to a hambuger. It was poetry.

From,LISA

Good evening I hope you are fining yourself to be well on this dar. Have yiu ever sold a car I am asking because I am ruight now going through the processand I personally am finding it to be taxing. I know that yiuj like to build things so I was thining if You Wanted To you culd purchase my car for partseven though it breaks my heart to think of her ike that. She is a fine specimen I’m sure yu understna.d Please first and foremsit if you are in need of a sturdty gal with a low center of gravity well let’s be honest the firstperson to come to mind is Deirdre Lovejoy but after that it would be my car. And yeah you can ride Dierdre Lovejoy but I guarantee that my car will actually get you where yu want to go.

If you are not interested in purchasing ny car for yourself she would make a lovely gift; I know for a fact that bows do come in car sizes so maybe yiou could get one of those too. I don’t know maybe thatn;s not your style. If you are loking for the truth this whle car thing has me very overwhlmed. I don’t want to be lowballed; surely yiu can aprpeciate that.

I like you a lot I thoght you were the nicest on your show but the fact si Ellen gets first dibs though persoally I am not sure she’s intersted.

Thank you have a nice time goodby Eichard Jarn,
LIda

Here’s the facts: your last name as the word generous in it but I have never seen any evicdence of that outside of your television program. Don’t get me wrong: I love you vert much and I love that youy are close with your mother and it’ss my favorite when you are talking to Justin Bieber on the TV. I used to watch yiur showw a lot but then I got a job. Now I dpn’t even have cable but I still follw your twitter and all so it’snot like I’ve abandoned you completely. Anyway speaking of yiur being generous would you like to purcahse from me a 2010 Honda Civiv VP, FOUR DOORS, automatic, a nice gray color. Kelley says it’s worth awhopping $13,600 and change but becuae I love you I’m willing to accept $13,000. Sh even already has a name: Harry Carnick, Jr., but you can change that if you want becuase I realize not everyone aprpeciates his musical stylings. Sometimes the air conditioing smells really sweet and then I get sick.

Please rush nmow to place an offer on this, do not waste a time becuase it’s a very popular vehicle but because Ilove you so much I want you to have it. I love you Eleln when is the next time Justin will be on also you shuld have Selena on too she always has the best haircuts, didyou know that they are dating? But I’m not jealous. Oh also about ~7500 miles and it’s getting some new oil on Satyrday. Brakes.;

Love Lisa